Mid-shower I had an epiphany, not one of the religious variety, but an epiphany all the same. I have never considered myself a glutton for punishment, but looking back over some of my past relationship blunders I cannot help but to think that I just may be a total masochist (not of the sexual variety). There are some lessons that we all have to learn the hard way, but I cannot help but to think that some could be learned vicariously through others, thus the reasons for this post. Here are some things that I learned the hard way, learn from my mistakes and try to avoid the same damn thing!
#1: The reason he did not call is not because he was in some horrible accident in which he developed amnesia, he just doesn't like you. Now pull your head out of that bucket of ice cream, pick your dignity up off of the floor and move on woman!
#2: The reason he is dating the ditz is because her boobs are gigantic and she put out on their second date, end of story.
#3: Momma's boys are going to listen to their mothers over their girlfriends, unless you are happy playing second fiddle to their mother it might be in your best interest to move along.
#4: 23 years old and never had a "real relationship", take that as a sign and don't waste your time.
#5: If a guy is a smooth talker that means that he has had a lot of practice perfecting this skill, probably not the best guy to go for.
#6: Don't date musicians, period.
#7: "I swear, this never happens to me" is code for "yup, this happens alllll the time"
#8: Men who are selfish in bed tend to be selfish in relationships, if you're not a priority in one don't expect to be a priority in the other
#9: Date guys who have younger sisters, they will be fiercely protective and incredibly nurturing.
#10: Just because he is tall, that doesn't mean squat.
#11: If all your friends don't like him then you need to pay attention to your relationship because they are most likely seeing something that you are not noticing.
#12: If he isn't nice to animals then he's probably not going to be so nice to you.
#13: Don't waste your time crying over some guy who broke up with you while trying to convince yourself that y'all were "meant to be together". If you were meant to be together he wouldn't have dumped your crying ass, get over it.
#14: You do not have to remain friends with all of your exes, but you shouldn't hate all of them either.
#15: If the main reason you stay in a relationship is because you love his family then that is not a relationship you should be in.
#16: If after 9 months he only says "I love you" when he is drunk then he probably doesn't love you.
#17: Don't go into any relationship expecting someone to change, you either accept them as they are or you leave them be.
#18: You cannot build a relationship solely based on sex (kissing, snuggling, etc...) but you cannot build one without it either.
#19: No relationship should cost you near and dear friendships, if you ever feel forced to choose then give him/her the boot.
#20: The more time you spend nitpicking every single fault the less time you have to get to know everything that is wonderful about them (plus, look in the mirror, are you perfect? NO!)
...Questions or comments? Hit me up!
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