The Difference Between "Talking the Talk" and "Walking the Walk"

While home this past weekend I took some time to sort through the assorted odds and ends that clutter my childhood room. While sorting I came across a box full of all of the letters and cards that I received throughout my four years at Ole Miss. I found myself feeling very nostalgic as I read through these letters from my loved ones, that is until I ran across some from my dreaded ex. The boy who promised you the world but treated you like crap, pulling the wool over your eyes for years? I'm sure you know the type. Anyways, as I read these letters I found myself becoming morbidly curious, what was it that he said over those 2 years that kept me blinded from the fact that he was a total asshole? After reading these letters and cards I realized what it was, pure manipulation. I don't fault myself for buying into his lies and promises because truth be told, I was young and naive, but more than anything, I needed a distraction from the train wreck that my life had become since my mom got sick. Keeping these things in mind, I completely understand how college Quinn would have fallen for this crap, but reading these things as an adult, it took everything in my power not to scream liar at the top of my lungs. Once my mini-rage subsided, I found myself comparing this particular relationship to the one in which I am currently involved. While examining the two I realized just how easy it is for someone to lie to you and tell you what you want to hear, but how it takes a strong person to follow through. This realization made me thankful for having someone who, while he may not write mushy love notes or sing me songs, treats me like the queen of some small country you have never heard of and follows the through on his word. To me it is the difference between promising and producing, I can promise you a pony but unless I get you one it doesn't really matter now, does it?

New Year's Resolution: Wedding Style

Growing up, I always thought that wedding planning would be this amazing experience for my partner and I to share in, a time full of peaceful decision making and nothing but agreeableness.... boy was I wrong. Not far into this process I learned that Ryan and I have very different ideas of what a wedding should be, and unfortunately these ideas have very rarely found common ground. This lack of congruence has made this process incredibly frustrating and anything but peaceful, with both of us often feeling as though we are having to sacrifice integral parts of our wedding fantasy to accommodate the other. How can it be that in a situation full of mutual compromise both of us are left feeling as though we are having to give up on our vision, when in fact it is probably 50/50? Can it be that we are so set on our visions that we are unable to relish in our small victories out of sadness for our losses? So, my question to both you and myself is this; how can we be happy with half of our dream? To be honest, I do not know the answer. I mean, I know the correct response is "marriage is about compromise", but how do you get your head to explain that to your heart? I think the best way to do this is by changing our attitudes and learning to see the glass as half full instead of half empty. I need to focus more on the fact that I got a band I like instead of on the fact that I probably won't get flowers that I like, and keep this attitude running throughout the remainder of this process. Like anything in life, we need to spend our time giving thanks for the things we have instead of ignoring them by crying over the things we have lost. I want to be more positive, more glass half full, because I really want to be able to enjoy this process and I want Ryan to be able to do the same. So, while it is a bit early for New Years resolutions my resolution is this; work on giving thanks for the good and not letting it be spoiled by the bad.